Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Infrequently Asked Questions

I am occasionally asked about the blog so I thought I could answer some general questions and pre-empt future questions ('cause you know how I like to go pre-emptive).

Who Are You?
A mild-manner corporate drone by day. A crime-fight super-hero by ... No, sorry, interupted by a childhood fantasy again. I'm also a mild-mannered corporate drone by night.

Why blog?
Well, I've failed at almost every other written format available: poetry, novel, screenplay. Blogging is a way to broadcast my screeds without subjecting them on unwitting co-workers, friends, family, not to mention the long-suffering, ever-so-patient Wife Wraith.

Are you part of any Vast Conspiracies?
Oh yes. Rant Wraith is fully funded by the Trilateral Commission, the Bavarian Illuminati, secret remnants of the Knights Templar and 12 super-Jews living on a hidden island near Madagascar. No, of course not. So far Rant Wraith has raise a total of $2.50 selling bumper stickers. Despite what the idiots at CBS think, bloggers are not taking orders or money from Any Vast Conspiracies.

Why "Rant Wraith"?
"Rant" because I'm prone to launch into long tirades about just how fast the world is going to shit (answer: approaching mach 3). "Wraith" because I am faceless specter haunting the internet? No,I thought it sounded cool and I loved the Lord of the Rings.

Why not use your real name?
I have been a smart-ass all my life. I have been known to offend people to the point of violence since I was a child. I was the kid who knew just what to say to the biggest, slowest guy in school to make him lunge across the classroom at me. I was accosted more than a few times growing up, even into graduate school. What can I say, I have a gift. I'd prefer not to be stabbed in the neck by some nutjob out to avenge one of my late-night insults. The Wife Wraith would be very angry if I got blood all over my Christmas sweater.

Looking over your archives I have to ask: Is Rant Wraith a blood-thirsty, warmongering, neo-con, crypto-fascist?
That depends on what the meaning of 'is' is?

Can I steal some of this crap and call it my own?
It's all copyrighted, punk. I'll have so many Lawyer Wraiths swarming all over you there'll be nothing left but bones and gristle. But you can use anything you want for free as long as you attribute it, with a link preferably.

You are an unsung genius, a paragon of brilliance and virtue, a lone prophet in the wilderness. How can I follow you and base my life on your teachings? Well, thanks for noticing. Just read the blog. Tell your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers about it. If you're that excited buy a RantWear t-shirt or something. I'm not starting a cult or anything, yet. (If you're an 18-24 year old female cheerleader, gymnast, track star or ballerina, send me an email and we'll discuss other ways you can contribute to Rant Wraith. But don't tell the Wife Wraith. We have a collection of very sharp knives and she knows where I sleep.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ranty, I ruv YOU! My husband is a big blog-head and he's always saying "Listen to THIS," or "Whoa, let me read THIS to you." Now that I've found you (and I can't remember exactly how it happened) I tell HIM to listen up (and he's fond of you, as well). Keep up the good work!

10:13 PM  

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