Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Sure, and Kerry is an Android from the Future

Salon must be getting desperate for readers. There's a story citing an "expert" who claims that Bush was using a "hidden electronic device" during the debate last Friday. The so-called evidence used to back up these fevered fantasies are pictures from the debates that show shapes under his jacket.

First, as Whizbang points out, if Bush was wired by the Secret Service, they would provide a much smaller device, one that would be essentially invisible. Even a tailor quoted in the article said he do a better job hidding a device. "I can hide a pistol under the breast."

All that aside, think about. The charge is this: that Bush was wired to someone offsite who was feeding him answers to questions from the audience and responses to statements from Kerry, all in real time, so that Bush could provide appropriate answers to a live nationwide audience of millions. Do the conspiracy theorists grasp how hard it would be for Bush and the person on the other end of the transmitter to do this? No one knows the questions until they are asked. Watch the fucking tape. Did he ever touch his ear to focus on the voice in his head? Bush provided answers lasting one minute and longer. He would have to listen to the answer in his "hidden ear piece" and begin repeating it as it was still being fed to him. All the while reacting to the audience members, the moderator and Kerry. What tremendous skill!

Try it at home conspiracy boy. Stand up in front of your friends. Put on headphones. Play an audio book on your iPod and repeat what the book says for one minute while engaging the people in front of you with eye contact and gestures that fit what you are saying. Pause. Then do it repeat those steps for 90 fucking minutes! Now imagine the lights, the stage, and the fact that you don't know the questions until they are asked. Holy shit! If Bush could pull this off he'd be the kind of genius people claim he isn't.

Please. This is just sad. The man can be accused of a lot, but this story has more holes in it than a Pamela Anderson movie.


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