El Modesto Proposal
I have a simple solution to the illegal immigration problem, one that will please the pro-immigration side and the law-and-order folks. It's so simple that I'm surprised no one has thought of it yet. I could very well win a Nobel Prize for this. Here it is.
The U.S. should make Mexico the 51st state. (Okay, maybe states 51-55.) This pleases the pro-immigration crowd because residents of each state have the right to travel freely between states. This pleases the law-and-order types because Mexicans coming north for work would not break any laws.
The benefits on both sides are too numerous to list. Mexico would benefit from legal reform that would clean up its corrupt institutions. Mexican schools would become bilingual, like schools in the current US. The US would instantly have access to more domestic oil production. The US military would increase the pool of available recruits.
The Greens would be happy to see US environmental laws enforced in Mexico. PETA would be happy to end cock-fighting. Feminists would be pleased to apply Federal sexual equality laws in the great State of Mexico. Same for homosexual rights groups. Homeland security would be greatly increased by Federal control of borders.
Mexico would benefit from higher quality public services, education, public health, law enforcement, taxation, etc. Native Mexicans (meaning indigenous, tribal Mexicans like we use the term Native Americans) could improve their lot through legalized gambling.
The US would increase its beach-front property. The increase in property values along the beach would price those annoying spring-break college kids out of the market. Plus Mexico, like all other states, would raise its drinking age to 21. (Take that Girls Gone Wild.)
Sure we would still have immigration issues with the southern Mexican border but it's a smaller border. And with so many Mexicans now Americans we could hardly be accused of racism by putting up a wall. It's a win-win I tell you. Win win.
There would be an inevitably rough period of transition on both sides. But this would pass. And after that, we can solve the Canadian problem once and for all.